It's natural to look at others who’ve achieved things we
dream of achieving and wish we could be like them. And we often think to
ourselves if I ever accomplish what they
have, then I’ll be successful. But that view is limited, even dare I say naïve,
because no matter what level we are at, with only a few rare exceptions, we
always yearn for more. Once we reach a new level the elation only lasts so
long, most of the time much less than we anticipate. And quicker than we like
we see the next level, and that becomes our new goal, our new obsession. It’s
like hiking a mountain and setting our sights on the nearest horizon. But once
we reach that horizon a new one, further away pops into view. As far as I can
see, at least in terms of writing or careers in general, this recursive process
never ends, unless we give up. I’m not sure there is a “top of the mountain” in
our lifetimes. So instead of coveting those milestone moments, wishing they’d
happen more frequently, or more easily, what if we simply enjoyed the journey
upwards, celebrated each hard fought step along the way. It helps to remember
that in climbing a mountain each step is required, not just the steps that
cross us over new horizons.
Now, I realize that along the way it's easy to get discouraged,
especially when we see others perform so much better than we do ourselves, or
when we don't follow through on our own goals as competently or rapidly as we
wish. Me and discouragement we’ve met, we’re on a first name basis. I don’t
want to bore you with my unrealized goals, it would take way too much time. So
let’s just move on.
I recently learned something new. Well that’s not exactly
right. I’m sure I’ve known it for a long time, it’s an old truth. But recently
it was clarified in a new way that stuck out to me—it sunk in. Are you ready
for it? Here it is: success is something you and I get to define, if we want.
We can choose to cling to the disappointments and wallow in misery, denigrating
ourselves and our work forever. This is the easy road though; it gives us
excuses to not succeed. Or on the other hand we can grab hold of anything
positive, uplifting, no matter how small, no matter how few and far between
they occur—even a single step. When we celebrate these tiny victories we're
more likely to keep going, to endure to the end.
Hard work is what it's all about, not talent or
opportunities—thanks for teaching me Howard Tayler. And rather than compare
ourselves against our friends and idols we should compare ourselves against
ourselves. Instead of saying: why can’t
I be like her? Or why is he always so much better than me? (or is it I? Dang,
where’s Annette Lyon when I need her.) Or why did they get the big contract
instead of me? Ask yourself: am I progressing? Am I better today than
yesterday? Am I working hard to get better tomorrow? If we can say yes to any
of these we should pat ourselves on the back, enjoy the moment, and then get back to work.
I spent three days at LDS Storymakers
2012 writer’s conference last week. And it was great! Yes, I’m using that
exclamation point. But at the same time it wasn’t perfect, there were some ups
and some downs. What’s important though is what I take away. There are really
only two options: move forward, or fall behind. I had so many positives that
far outweighed any of the piddly negatives how can I not move forward? This was
my first Storymakers conference. Hi, I’m new. But I want to share with
you how I measured success this year.
1- Thursday, I met some fantastic writers at my table at
bootcamp. They gave me valuable feedback on my WIP. And even though some of it
was difficult to hear, I appreciate every bit and recognize the spirit it was
given in—to help me get better as a writer. More than the feedback though, they gave
me heaping doses of encouragement during bootcamp and throughout the conference.
I saw them in sessions, at meals and at keynotes.
2- Friday, day 1 of the main part of the conference, I was
scheduled for a pitch session with agent Holly Root. (I’m so tempted to write
secret agent Holly Root, it has a nice ring to it don’t you think?) I was
nervous, so nervous. But Storymakers came through for me again. I randomly ate lunch
with a couple writers from Gilbert, Arizona—a hot bed for writers I now
understand. Anyway, these writers were talking about pitches; in fact one of
them had already been to his pitch session. He gave me his pitch, which was
very good by the way. But then he asked me for mine. I awkwardly stumbled
through mine and to my surprise they said good job—in effect "you worked
hard on that" at least that's how I choose to remember it in hindsight.
They pointed out parts they liked and made suggestions for what I could add to
make it better. But what they really did was push me over the hump of "can
I really do this?" to hey "I think I can." Back in December I
signed up to pitch more to kick my own writing hindside into action than to
actually convince Holly to really look at my work. But now I think I can. My 10
minutes with Holly were positive, encouraging, and I left wanting to finish my
WIP ASAP. Mission accomplished in spades—that alone was worth attending
Storymakers.
3- Saturday I was in a session when Heather Moore came in
and sat down next to me. After the session was over we chatted like two writers
at a conference. Now, I've attended a PEG critique session but I think I was
only casually introduced to Heather. But in our conversation it felt like she
at least remembered my name. Wow, Heather Moore remembered me, or at least
recognized my name. The most enlightening thing about our conversation is that
even someone published as much as Heather is still working, learning and
growing, pushing herself to the next level in her career. And when I realized
that I felt in a small way that we had something in common. I mean no
disrespect to Heather, I simply mean we both have a desire to move our writing
careers forward. For me I hope to have
a writing career someday, and for her to bump hers up a notch.
Success can be defined any way you choose. And if you're not
careful you may just place it out of your own reach through comparisons to
others, or by allowing someone else, the world maybe, to define what success is
for you. I choose bask in my little victories, and cling to the precious, positive moments. And I am going to get back to work on my writing.
Thanks to everyone I met at Storymakers, the members of my
critique group, the people I met, and all the fantastic presenters and
volunteers who made my first Storymakers memorable—a real success! And
especially to everyone at any table who shared their pitches with me, and asked
that I give my pitch to them. I'll be back.
Scott Clayton The Writer
Credits: Heather Moore was the spark for this post and Howard
Tayler was the heart—he worked hard on his presentation. And I also credit so
many others who I rubbed shoulders with during the conference. Sheesh, you’d
think I’d won an award or something. Hmm, now that I think of it, maybe I
did—just not one of those showy kinds of awards that everyone else knows about.
